Forums > Fan creations > The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4981 days ago
Prolougue:

''Give me the usual, Henning'' said a man.

''Coming right up,'' said Henning.

Just then, the door opened. In walked a man wearing long, brown robes.

''By the holy waffle, it's a Yupher!'' said the man without a robe, ''Let me buy you a drink''

''Thank you,'' said Yupher, ''I'd like something mild.''

''Coming right up,'' said Henning.

''By the way, what isyour name kind sir?'' asked Yupher.

''Cannius Blephin,'' said the man.

''Pleased to be your aquantence, Cannius,'' said Yupher, ''I am Miphius Yupher.''

''Is there any stories you're willing to share?'' asked Cannius.

''Ah I see why you were being so talkative,'' the men laghed,'' I am happy to share one. Let me tell you the tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzing.''
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4980 days ago
Harvius was of normal birth. He took the aplitude test as normal. He was given a mop and sent to janitorial school, as normal for-


''Wait, wait, wait,'' said Cannius, ''Didn't you say he was a Vangard?''

''No,'' said Miphius, ''I said he was a Gan, with a G, Vard, with a V.''

''Oh,'' said Cannius, ''Sorry Ganvard and Vangard sound too much alike.''

''But how does a Ganvard become a Quizzig?'' asked Henning.

''Let me explain,'' said Miphius.


He was an exceptional janitor, and landed his first job at the Yupher square. This was well before my time. He worked in the North tower. In his spare time, he read some of the scholarly books, we scholars gladly share our readings with the other staff.

He read about Oberon, Entropy, Macatord, Boxpipe, and all the other gods that the average citizen of the PaiPaiEmpaire knows nothing about.

The scholers liked him, he was a nice freash outside view on things. They kept the North tower as clean as they could to minimize Harvius's janitorial work so he could sit and discuss with the scholars. He was nicknamed Harvius Yupher Ankter.

He obviously would've been a scholar if he wasn't a superb janitor.


''Heres your drink,'' said Henning, ''Sorry it's late, I was enjoying your story.''

''Okay,'' said Miphius, ''How much will it be?''

''On the house,'' said Henning, ''if you finish your story.''

''Very well,'' laughed Miphius.
extist
Newborn
Joined 5193 days ago
Last seen 3247 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4980 days ago
This is by far the greatest piece of GAI fan-fiction I have had the pleasure to read. It's simple yet elegant and hasnt made a single disernable fault.
darknote
Newborn
Joined 5597 days ago
Last seen 3360 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4978 days ago
What I can say is that this story is very elegant :D
Keep it up Paipai!
<--------- Nuff said~~
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4975 days ago
Chapter 2

Harvius worked for four years when one night, cleaning up the food fight in the North tower cafeteria, when he heard a voice.

''Harvius, I know you,'' said the voice, ''I know how you hate being a janitor.''

''Who are you?'' asked Harvius.

''Do you seek the freedom to be what you want?'' said the voice.

Harvius thought hard. A few minutes later he gave his answer.

''Yes,'' said Narvius.

''Then I hereby invitte you to join the cult of Boxpipe,'' said the voice, ''A portion of your salery will be required if you accept, but the cult will feed you and give you access to teachers. And if you are a loyal, hardworking member, one day we might pull the strings and make you a Yupher.''

Harvius thought harder. He eventually gave his answer.

''I accept,'' said Harvius.
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4974 days ago
Chapter 3

''Before you continue,'' said Cannius, ''I half to ask, what is a boxpipe?''

''I thikn it's a box for a pipe,'' saind Henning, ''Why are you facepalming, Miphius?''

''Boxpipe is a god,'' said Miphius, ''Now let me continue.''


Two days later, Harvius visited the cult's secret hideout. He was surprised.

There was food, not gorment, but decent and healthy. There were teachers and tutors willing to teach cultest, Boxpipe lore was a common subject. There was a lounge with confy chairs and tables and games.

But those were not the reason why he was surprised. He was surprised when he saw how many people were part of this cult.

He signed up for the course on Boxpipe lore, grabbed some food and sat down to talk with some other cult members.
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4973 days ago
Chapter 4

Harvius worked hard, both at his job and at the cult. He talked with Ragius a lot and learned what the cult wants in a leader. He signed up for courses that would maximize his chance at getting promoted.


''Who is Ragius?'' asked Cannius.

''Ragnius Yupher is the person who recruited Harvius,'' answered Miphius.


For 80 years, Harvius lived his double-life. He rose through the ranks of the cultists while leaving noone suspicous. Eventually, the friuts of his efforts sprouted.

''Fellow cultists of Boxpipe, I have the honor to show you our newest member to the high circle, Harvius Ganvard sre Boxpipe,'' said Kaquius Yupher sre Boxpipe, a member of the high circle.

''I am truely honored to be standing here today,'' said Harvius, ''I will do my best for Boxpipe! Glory to Boxpipe!''

''Glory to Boxpipe!'' the cultists echoed.


''One quick question,'' asked Cannius, ''Why is every cultest you named besides Harvius a Yupher?''

''Most people don't know about Boxpipe,'' answered Miphius, ''Only scholars and other people working at Yupher square know about him. That's why Yupher square was designed to be nigh defendable, it's the hotbed of anti-Uncle PaiPai movements.''
extist
Newborn
Joined 5193 days ago
Last seen 3247 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4973 days ago
Ok so then there is going to be a staging of a revolt where hopefully the planet comes under the control of another god... interesting concept... One would think that only the ''atheists'' would put such an effort in getting ride of a god...

Im liking this story very much but I think it could do with some padding.
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4968 days ago
Chapter 5:

Harvius's motives were unknown to the cult. Everyone assumed he wanted the best for the cult.

They were wrong!

Harvius is loyal to Uncle PaiPai. Once he learned the names of the high circle, he went to General Drogius.

Drogius used this info to capture the high circle and stop the cut of Boxpipe.

Acention was Harvius's reward.

And this ends the tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4959 days ago
Chapter 6:

''That was short,'' said Cannius, ''and the ending was kinda lame.''

''I never claimed to be a good storyteller,'' said Miphius.

''Well, anyway,'' said Henning, ''I realized I never introduced myself, my name is Gravius Henning.''

''NIce to meet you,'' said Miphius

''Know anything else?'' asked Cannius.

''Well...'' said Miphius, ''I could tel you more about the gods. They are devided into two catagories, major and minor are the official names. Uncle PaiPai is classifies as-''

when suddenly,

''MIPHIUS YUPHER TARIC, WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!''

Miphius fled out the side door.
extist
Newborn
Joined 5193 days ago
Last seen 3247 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4959 days ago
I think I speak for all deity-kind when I say : ''YAY!''
Uncle PaiPai
Newborn
Joined 5231 days ago
Last seen 2523 days ago
Re. The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Posted 4956 days ago
Chapter 7:

After some running, a guard cornered Miphius.

''Freeze or I'll shoot!'' said the guard as he open fired.

''Liar,'' yelled Miphius as he drew his own gun.

The guard shot Miphius's gun out of his hand.

''Hey, I accually hit something,'' remarked the guard, ''Now die.''

Then the guard was knocked unconsious.

''Mipius,'' said Cannius, who knocked out the guard, ''Something tells me your story wasn't entirely true.''

''Harvius lives now, he just told the high-ranking official about the cult,'' said Miphius, ''The official marked Harvius as a cultest and a trator. We must convince the PaiPaihians of the truth!''
Forums > Fan creations > The tale of Harvius Ganvard Quizzig
Steam Early-access
Gods and Idols
Gods and Idols is copyright © Johannes Pihl 2007-2023, all rights reserved;
Shadowbox.js is © Michael J. I. Jackson;
All other trademarks, logos and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.