Which meant it didn't fit over the mounting screws:
There was also machining defects on one of the mounting brackets:
On the 18th I call the shop back and ask if they have a mounting kit they can send, since that is all I need. Unfortunately they don't carry spare parts, and ask me to email photos of the defects. They get back to me within just an hour of sending the email, I'll get a new watercooler as soon as they get it back in stock.
On the 19th I return the new cooler.
On the 30th I contact the shop and ask for an update on when they expect to get more coolers from the manufacturer. As it turns out they got them that day, and already shipped me one.
My new new cooler arrived on the 1st of June.
The new new cooler is installed and working fine on June 3rd. I make a post on the forum. A thunderstorm rolls in and I decide to turn the PC off since a power outage had caused all the issues to begin with.